Posted in Game on Sep 28, 2016
I stumbled upon the term “Turgenev girl” while reading a post on the excellent blog This is Trouble. A reader posted a detailed comment about girls with a specific set of qualities. I've encountered several girls like this but until now I didn't have a term to describe them.
I've had my share of inconsequential flings and one-night-stands but there are a handful of girls that I've enjoyed short to medium term relationships with. Out of these, a handful really stand out because of a shared set of personality traits. The 19th century writer Ivan Turgenev highlighted these traits in his essays and stories about Russian women.
A “Turgenev girl” is a particular type of female character invented, or rather documented, by the 19th century writer Ivan Turgenev. "We had listed the peculiarities of today’s Turgenev girls: delicate manners, modest, refined, simple, romantic, living in their dreams, feminine, though with no make up…"
Here are a few personality traits I've peronally experienced with my own encounters with "Turgenev Girls". Most of these have been taken from his novella "Asya" written in 1858.
A Turgenev Girl is...
In all my encounters with these type of girls, I've noticed how burtally honest they can be. They are unapologetic in this regard. If they don't like something, they will tell you. If they think you're being a pussy they will let you know. They aren't insulting about it though. They simply speak their minds.
If you've hooked a Turgenev Girl, you can rest assured she has your back. Their devotion and loyalty to a masculine man is only rivaled by that of Latinas.
Turgenev Girls are not attention whores. They rarely wear makeup and if they do, it's in small amounts. You won't see them in skin tight skirts dancing on tables in the club. If they go to the club at all, they will probably be in a dress and heels but it will be modest compared to your average club bimbo.
They're also very likely to downplay their accomplishments. They're kind of self-critical in this regard. They won't talk themselves up and any compliments you give will be accepted very humbly.
Another commonality I've noticed with these type of girls is that they're all insanely smart. These girls have degrees ranging from computer science to architectural engineering to linguistics.
These girls understand male/female dynamics and fully embrace their feminine role. Every aspect from how they move, speak and behave, oozes femininity. If you're a masculine man, they will comfortably play a submissive role in the relationship.
Some of the deepest conversations I've had have been had with these girls. Turgenev girls are eager to discuss everything from the meaning of life to gender dynamics. This probably stems from their tendency to be highly educated and their love of reading.
While not typically super-models, Turgenev girls are quite beautiful. Think long hair, thin bodies and dresses. They realize the value in beauty and how it relates to femininity.
If there was ever a flaw with Turgenev girls, it would be this. Sometimes they fall in love with a romantic image of a man and not a real one. This can prevent some of them from actually forming meaningful relationships.
I experienced this with a Moldovan girl I was dating. She had all of these traits listed above and I was (and still am) enamored by her. At some point though I didn't live up to her romantic ideal of a man. True to her honest ways, she even pointed this out. I had failed to hook her and consequently could not break down this ideal she had in her head.
I eventually had to stop talking to her because my attachment and her lack thereof was killing my value. I just chalk it up as another lesson learned.
Despite this, I've greatly enjoyed every encounter I've had with the Turgenev girls in my life. I would encourage every man to keep an eye out for these girls and try to keep them around if you can.